I just listened to this song, actually called "Calling All Angels" and it made me think of my mother and how times used to be. This song, although not popular at the time and had alreaqdy had it's fifteen minutes of fame, reminds me of a particular time in my life.
Background:
I lived with my cousins who helped take care of me and had given me my own room with either a queen or king sized bed and a t.v. with COX cable. Every morning I would wake up and turn the channel to VH1 because they played music videos of the latest hits. At that time, I was listening to songs by Madonna and Coldplay, and other popular artists, such as OK GO. I always listened to music because it escaped me from reality. For a few moments, I was in the song and nowhere else and I was perfectly content with that. Anyway, I often did my make-up while listening to the music. Once I was finished getting ready for school, as I was a sophomore in high school, I would go to the kitchen to pick up some delicious breakfast my cousin Liz would make me. It was either warm, french toast coated in syrup or it was little piggies-in-a-blanket, often containing sausage cooked to the perfect temperature wrapped in a blanket of soft dough by Pillsbury. If we were in a hurry I would grab as many as I could eat and put them in a tub with a big glump of grape jelly. Sometimes my cousin, Liz's husband Neil, would sit in the passenger seat of his Nissan Pathfinder, and allowed me to be the driver to school in the mornings. I had my permit at the time and was still learning how to drive.
I can still remember my first time driving on the highway on the way home. Neil had directed me to turn a particular way and little did I know I would be turning onto the on-ramp that merged into I-44. I was so scared, not just for me, but for his life. It was nerve-wrecking as I approached rush hour traffic and cars were either moving swiftly or slowly. But I do recall we made it home safe and I was able to finally relax in the driveway.
The year was 2005. The year that I turned 16. The year I learned to drive. The year I was a passenger on my first plane. The year that I moved out of the only home that I had known for 12 years. It was also the year that my mother died. Shortly after she died, I had a very vivid dream. In my dream, I awoke to my phone ringing at the end of my bed. This was a black flip phone made by samsung. It was my pride and joy and it also had a camera. That was it's best feature. The caller i.d. always showed on the front and it was showing that "MOM calling". I hurriedly answered the phone because Liz and Neil did not like my phone going off during the night because it would wake them up. All the while I was confused as I had never put my mother's phone number in my phone, let alone label the contact as "MOM". So I anwered with the feeling that this was some kind of prank and a cruel one at that, and that was not the case. As I curiously greeted, "Hello, MOM?". It was her voice on the other line that replied with, "Hi sweetie". For a few seconds I became a cup of emotions filled to the top that was overflowing into the phone. "I love you, I miss you, I just love you so much." I felt that I really needed to make sure she knew this. She replied, telling me she did not have much time, but that she does love me and that she will always be watching over me and to never forget that. I got the sense that this was truely going to be the last time I would ever speak to my mom. I had a feeling that once this phone call was over she would drift away to a place where she would truely be at peace. I started crying in this dream while on the phone with my mother. We said our final "I love you's" and the call was over. I immediately woke up from my dream with tears running down my face. I cried and had a difficult time falling back to sleep that night. Looking back, the dream was a sign that she will always be watching over me even if we can longer have the contact I desire. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TaG9SDxwPBg
